Some time ago, I joined a fabulous group of women in a global writing challenge. Each month, we all take on a prompt and share our musings with you. Gail from Is This Mutton? (UK), Deb from Deb’s World (Australia), Jill from Grown Up Glamour (Australia), Mary Katherine from MK’s Adventures in Style (USA), Penny from Frugal Fashion Shopper (UK), Leslie from Once Upon a Time and Happily Ever After (USA), Marsha from Marsha In The Middle (USA) and our two newest members, Rosie Amber from Rosie Amber, (UK) and Anne Bray of Spy Girl (USA). Every third Thursday, we publish our thoughts on a new theme, and this month it’s all about confidence. Last month, we wrote about schooldays. So, here’s a peek into my journey with this elusive quality!
Confidence is a funny thing, isn’t it? As a teenager and well into my twenties (and probably my thirties if I’m being honest), I wasn’t brimming with it, but I never really lacked it either. I kind of sat somewhere in the middle – confident enough to do some things but hesitant with others.
One summer, when I was about 17 or 18, I worked at a waterpark flipping pancakes and making milkshakes (a dream job for a teenager, right?). I distinctly remember this young woman who worked there; she couldn’t have been much older than me, yet she walked with such poise. Shoulders back, head held high–she just radiated confidence. Seeing her had such a surprising impact on me. I thought, “That’s it! That’s what I need to do!” So I gave it a try. And you know what? It worked! I wasn’t necessarily braver, but I suddenly felt I could fake it till I made it.
And I’ve carried that simple trick with me ever since. Over the years, I’ve added little boosts to the act, like yoga (that’s me, above, doing my first ever headstand!). Yoga taught me that having a strong spine and a relaxed posture can make you feel confident, even if you’re quaking inside. It’s like my secret weapon: head up, shoulders relaxed, deep breaths – it’s my confidence toolkit.
But looking back, I realise I did have my bold moments. Like when it came to talking to boys – no hesitation! If a friend fancied someone, I’d happily march right over and spill the beans. If I fancied him, well, I’d go over and have a word with him myself! It was just fun to me. And dancing? Don’t get me started. I’d almost always be the first one on the dance floor, coaxing others up to join me.
One memory that always makes me laugh is a party I went to with my now-husband, Michael, before we were married. It was hosted by some of his parents’ friends, and when we walked in, the host immediately commented that we looked like we’d stepped out of Hello! magazine. I still chuckle thinking about it! I’d never considered myself particularly glamorous, but there we were, apparently exuding confidence like some kind of celebrity couple. It’s funny how the little things stick with you, isn’t it?
Mind you, I’m far from confident in every situation. Mechanics and trips to the town hall? My confidence absolutely crumbles. And I cannot stand talking on the phone, especially with strangers. Give me a crowd to face any day over a phone call!
Starting my style blog at 40 helped me feel more confident, especially in front of the camera. These days, I can chat away to the camera, though filming in public is a challenge. I get that nervous feeling like everyone’s watching and judging. Something to work on, I suppose!
If I could offer one piece of advice for exuding confidence, it would be to hold your head up high, pull your shoulders back, and take a couple of breaths. It might not magically make you fearless, but it gives you just enough of a boost to take the next step. Confidence, as it turns out, is less about being fearless and more about trusting yourself – and faking it a bit when you need to!
Let’s see how the others tackled this month’s challenge on ‘confidence’:
Debbie likens confidence to boldness and reminisces about her YEAR of being BOLD. Confidence is something she never thought she had a lot of but perhaps she was wrong! Http://www.debs-world.com
Rosie’s taken a fun approach to this subject with a little personality quiz. https://rosieamber.wordpress.com
Gail at Is This Mutton is a shy introvert, but over the years she has taught herself number of tricks to be confident. Find out more: https://www.isthismutton.com
Confidence is an elusive thing for Penny, it’s there and then in a flash, it’s gone. But it does reappear again. Capturing and keeping hold of this thing called confidence is going to be a major target over the next few years. https://frugalfashionshopper.co.uk/
Anne mustered the confidence to pose nude at age 68! https://spygirl-amb.blogspot.com/
Marsha writes about the confidence she found in the most unusual place. https://marshainthemiddle.com/
Leslie has chased confidence all her life. Has she ever caught it? Stop by to find out: https://onceuponatimehappilyeverafter.com/
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